Its weird how a song or a photo or a song with a photo can totally transport a person back in time. It reminds me of those time travel love stories like The Time Travelers Wife or About Time. I wish time travel could be more than in our minds via photos or music or whatever takes us back. I don’t need to stay, nor do I want to stay- though if I went I’m not sure I wouldn’t be mesmerized into staying. Stuck from a strong magnetic-like pull. Like when I visit my dogs. I can’t wait to see them but when I have to leave its so painful and then I’m cranky or sad or both for an entire week. I have a love back in time. If I went back, would I be able to leave him? Maybe it would get easier knowing I could always time travel and go back to visit some more? Its just hard because I have no photos or videos. My mother threw them out. And I had letters and cards but she threw those out too. I’m sure she was trying to help. Figured it would push me to move forward rather than relish on the past but now I only have the memories in my mind to remember him and us. I know  that how I feel about MSM feels similar. I remember that from the beginning. Not the day we met, but the day I knew there was something there. It felt beautifully familiar. Different, but something similar. That’s why I could never let it go. I knew it was a gift. Something special that shouldn’t be taken lightly.  And  I can remember that moment clearly too – as clearly as the moment I am thinking about now with Dave Matthews Satellite playing and the carnival swings photo in the back ground. I remember him sitting on the floor holding the CD with that same cover, telling me how much he loved that song. How his friends were outside but I had had a long day and was resting in bed so he came in to keep me company. He was so young back then but he seemed so mature, since he was five years my senior. And still, right now, he sits there on the wooden floor of his bedroom in his parent’s house, legs crossed in his brown cotton pants and plaid short sleeved shirt. His brown eyes smiling up at me. Bushy eyebrows and tan skin, he’s 29. More than five years my junior now. When my mind goes back and sees him he’s just a boy and I’m more mature, more experienced, more weathered. I still miss him. It doesn’t hurt as much or as often but sometimes when I hear a song or see a photo there’s a pang. Maybe my mom did me a favor after all, though I’m not sure I can forgive her for throwing those things out. Knowing her she saved everything to give back to me later- when she felt I was healed. But now she’s older and her memory is not so great. I’m sure she may not even remember who he is let alone where my pieces of him have been hidden. I wonder what he would say to me now. What advice would he have for me? How would he handle our life? Is he happy for me or hurt or maybe even angry? He was so kind though. Always saw the best in everyone- just like who I am with now. Gregarious and genuinely kind. Non judgmental. When he left he said he was going to be ok. I know it sounds crazy but I do believe I saw his spirit. And I had a dream in which he told me not to smoke. His last words were my name. I’m not sure if he was telling me he loved me or if he was scared or in pain. I think he knew. I really do. At that last moment. He knew because he said my name. This is the first time I’m writing about this. It certainly isn’t easy. But maybe one day it will be a book. A love story. It will help him live forever.


And speaking of time travel, some time ago my mother and I put some things in a time capsule that will be unburied soon. I must have been something like 5 or 7 years old. Probably five because don’t most things like that happen on a 5 or a zero? I could be wrong….maybe I was 7 or 11.  I remember that my mom sent me a box of basically crap a few years ago, but in that box of nothing was the golden ticket. The paperwork for the time capsule. I was excited to see that it was A. going to be opened in California and B. I hadn’t missed it/had quite a few more years to go before it will be opened.  I just need to find the papers so I can put it in my calendar. How exciting! I wonder what it will be like?  Will I remember or recognize the things we put in there? Will I think “so THATS where that’s been all this time!”? Will it feel like I went back in time? Maybe there’s a note from my mom or dad…..This is definitely something to which I look forward!

What the heck to wear when you travel out of your own place and time?

Jeans: J brand  Boots: Rag and Bone  Blazer: Theory  Shirt: C&C California (old)

I suggest something comfortable and classic, so you don’t stick out. I feel like a blazer is one of those closet essentials that will always come in handy. They can dress up an otherwise casual outfit and they can professionalize (is that a word?) a dress. I love this one by Theory. It has leather on the collar to add a touch of interest. It’s worth the extra dollars to spend a bit more on a truly well made blazer. They last forever and never go out of style. Walking boots are another great staple. A little bit of a chunky heel is best, according to my podiatrist. He says flat shoes are actually just as bad for your feet as stilettos. True fact!







Rompin’ around Oahu!


We just got back from Hawaii yesterday. Culture shock big time! I can’t believe how much faster the pace of life is here in Los Angeles. I don’t want to live in Hawaii- though it is beautiful- but I would like to maintain the relaxed state of mind. I wish I knew how.


I even love the word “Island”. Look how beautiful it looks. ISLAND. When I see it, I see flowers like plumeria and gardenia, and abundant amounts of plush greens. mmmm. Smells so nice. If I ever have a daughter, I’d like to name her Isla.

After this visit to Oahu,  I have now been to four of the five main Hawaiian Islands. I love them in this order: Kauai, Oahu, Big Island, Maui. Still one day I could see Molokai and Lanai (which I believe used to be a Dole pineapple plantation. I mean the entire island).

Enjoying a coconut mojito by the pool at The Modern in Waikiki.
Enjoying a coconut mojito poolside at The Modern in Waikiki.

Oahu, in my opinion, is a good mix between an island getaway and staying in a large bustling city. Honolulu comprises most of the island. Skyrocketing resort hotels kiss the tropical blue waters of the Pacific and outline Waikiki. We loved eating at Goofy’s- a local cafe close to but just far enough away from the main hub of hotels. The Nobu in Waikiki is by far the best Nobu I’ve been to. As per usual the drinks were amazing and there were way more soy free options at this particular location than the others. Yay.

We stayed at The Modern. The name describes it perfectly- modern. I highly recommend. It felt fresh and clean and unpretentiously upscale. The food was mediocre, but there are plenty of places to venture outside the hotel for meals- most walking distance. We prefer to explore and eat like locals when traveling anyways :). The hotel pool was exquisite and the beach boardwalk is just a short walk away.


One of my favorite things in Waikiki was taking a surf lesson at Hans Hedemann’s surf school. I may have to blog about that independently because it was AMAZING!!! And yes, I stood up on the board- although only briefly. hahaha.

Sleepy pipeline. During the winter, when pipeline is more awake, this is where pro surfers gather from around the world to compete.
This beautiful non-threatening beach is called Pipeline. During the winter, when pipeline is more awake,  pro surfers gather from around the world to compete.
During the winter season Pipeline waves average 15 feet! Photo by
Nov-Feb Pipeline waves average 15 feet minimum! Photo by Jeff Divine: Jeff Divine Surf Photography

After Waikiki we visited Hawaii Kai- the home town of MSM’s best friend. I loved Waikiki, but it was nice to explore and discover the local’s Hawaii. We played on the beach on the North Shore, got to see a sleepy Pipeline (see photo above), swam with man-o-wars on the south, considered kayaking to “Scylla and Charybdis” (the waves were too choppy- but next time we’ll go), and stood in awe from the beauty of Maks- the local beach hang out and my personal favorite (photo below). Early one morning we hiked up an old dilapidated train line to catch a view of Hawaii Kai and most of Oahu- which was both fun and challenging. The view was a perfect reward, as was the fantastic crepe at the local breakfast cafe. There are tons of hikes in Oahu, but we mainly beach hopped. I’d love to go back for more hikes. But first I want to hike Napali on Kauai. 

Maks. SO gorgeous the pictures do no justice. Notice the tiny little lighthouse far in the distance. I loved the contrast of black, blue, and green. Heaven on earth.
Maks. SO gorgeous the pictures do no justice. Notice the tiny little lighthouse far in the distance. I loved the contrast of black, blue, and green. Heaven on earth.

So apparently one thing you can’t miss next time your in Oahu is a “plate lunch”. There’s like 50 choices of meat (mostly pork, and chicken) over rice and macaroni salad. I have to admit it was pretty yummy (minus the mac salad bc lets face it, mayo is nasty and should be outlawed). A local plate lunch tastes delicious after a long day of playing in the sun and salty water.

Flashback to 1970, this shack served a perfectly delicious plate lunch. Photo taken by the talented Catherina.
Looking like a flashback to 1970, this shack recently served us a perfectly delicious plate lunch. Photo taken by the talented Catherina.

If I had packed for this trip on my own, I would have thrown in only denim shorts and t shirts. Luckily Danielle helped me pack- because her picks couldn’t have been more perfect. What better way to romp around Hawaii than in a romper?? Each day next week I will feature one of the rompers so you can see them all :).

Until then, have a great weekend!