california

Home Builder’s Warehouse Depot

~ jillontoast ~ Leave a comment

 

DBE464E6-FB27-4F69-97DB-9C95A9459973
The cottage kitchen is only bigger than the one we had in the Air Bnb in Paris. 💗 (the blue here represents where kitchen cabinets will exist) The Air bnb kitchen was amazing, but let’s face it, I was in Paris, anything seemed amazing. #francophile

How is it midnight and I’m just getting home from work?? My career has been amazing so far, and I’m excited to keep moving up and forward! (Fingers crossed). I mostly don’t mind working late, and this show looks like it’s going to turn out gorgeous. I’m excited to see it progress.

Meanwhile, speaking of progression, I’m also moving forward on the home renovation front. Today while perusing Pinterest for kitchen cabinet and cottage paint ideas I was reminded “how did I forget about shiplap?!!!” How many times have we heard Johanna Kerns talk about Shiplap?!  Jeesh! Yet somehow it completely slipped my mind. Looking at photos of cottage interiors made me realize I wish I could start over with this place and work with an actual professional designer because I could TOTALLY “cottage” my cottage up for realz! Add beams and shiplap….etc. But alas, I am on a budget. Also, by nature, I actually picked things that felt beach cottage-y anyways. Except the floor. I’ve never been convinced I have picked the right floor. I literally picked it because most “affordable” laminate or vinyl flooring is hideous so I picked the best one I could get for .68c a square foot. The sample looked decent in my place, so I pray it looks good when Mike lays it all down. My bathroom selections feel, to me, like a Ritzy beach cottage (marble tiles with hints of blue grey). I wish I could have done gold fixtures throughout, but those are more specific to my taste and less “neutral”, so I went with brushed nickel.

56709196-DD54-4619-95C0-F08B2BE2EDC9
I love this bedroom for The Cottage. I wish I could shiplap the walls like this. Technically I could. Maybe I’ll talk with Mike. Meanwhile I can definitely do the pastel colors and, the window trim, and fancy crown molding. I think my place will be its own version of this, I hope. This room looks substantial, warm, light, cozy, relaxing, and safe.
478C0995-824C-4AEE-BDFD-C3D33723B31B
I am OBSESSED with this ceiling!! Words I never thought I would hear myself say….Even the coral pendant is amazing. I wonder if it would be comfortable to live in a home like this. I don’t know, but it would definitely be comfortable to live under that ceiling! 💗

Sunday Rudi was busy training a puppy so I took one of my closest friends, Margaret, with me to meet Mike at Designer Warehouse. I know this isn’t the correct name of the place, but honestly I can’t ever remember the actual name of Mike’s favorite store in North Hollywood. Maybe it is Builders Depot? Anyways, it’s like Home Depot but less annoying with less choices. Also, it’s freezing in the store for some reason, but that’s neither here nor there (what does that expression even mean?? Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever used it before. I wonder if using it means I’m turning into an old lady. I hope not!!! Though Margaret did mention I seem “less carefree lately”. That breaks my heart. I’m not sure what she means by that, but I need to work on it!!!).

Sunday was slotted for selecting kitchen cabinets, kitchen backsplash, and front and back exterior doors. A friend shared with me the name of a supposedly affordable custom cabinet place, so I am using the cabinets at Designer Warehouse as my backup plan. We decide to go with a step up from “shaker doors”, and in natural wood which will allow us to paint them a color I want. The pre painted ones seriously look like cheap prison cupboards, so I am grateful my budget affords me something a bit classier. After my ikea experience, I am grateful for Mike who helped plan out a kitchen layout that makes me feel like living with a tiny kitchen for a while may not be so bad!! I may even have more space than I thought. I hope his ideas work out as nicely in person as they have on his unscaled drawings!! (Uh oh!). I have faith it’s going to be better than expected.


👆🏼Color palettes I’m considering for The Cottage interior. I love them all!

Deciding whether or not I should have a dishwasher has been like an existential dilemma. I don’t use them. I mean you have to wash the dishes to use the dishwasher, so what’s the point? It’s a waste of space, water, and electricity, in my opinion. If I was making this cottage for myself (as opposed to a tenant), I would have a wine fridge where the dishwasher “should” go, and I would call it a day. It’s been a constant struggle trying to remember that this cottage is to be a rental unit. I mean I WILL be living in it while the main house is renovated, so I wish I could splurge and design it as if it is mine as well. I have also been reminded by numerous friends that after a few months in a 580sf house, I’ll be excited to move into my house and rent this one out. I am looking forward to the income and would love to one day add another unit and turn the property into a real Bed and Breakfast! Regardless, I want the place to be cozy and nice but also durable. So the cabinets we picked, I think, will be great. It’s a good thing too! It turns out the custom cabinet place has a 3 week turn around and we’re chasing the clock so that I can move in and stop paying rent and mortgage simultaneously, which is eating money from my budget for the main house.

We picked an awesome front door (Margaret helped a lot), and decided for sure on a dutch back door. I am super exited! I also put a bid on an antique door knocker- but no hints on that. You’ll just know if/when I win!

C6AD32B4-7D14-4C2B-AD14-6D67228A3DA8
Margaret showing off the back splash we picked. It was really fun having her with me, and I also appreciate and am grateful for her support. She’s been amazing at giving insight without imposing her own likes and dislikes onto me. This is a true art people! I am grateful for her!!

F1D2D3D5-795F-4F02-8FE8-EE04B7B14CC6

The back splash was fairly easy to pick due to a lack of choices. It was sort of nice to not be overwhelmed. I love what I picked because it does feel modern beach-y. I started with  three styles, and once held to the countertop it was obvious which one had the best aesthetic. Mike is thrilled because I finally picked something easy to apply. The countertop choosing was more challenging because I had something in mind that didn’t exist at Home Depot Warehouse Whatever, likely because what I pictured probably costs a fortune and is not sold at discount places. What can I say, I have exquisite taste and should be having tea with the queen of England rather than working to be financially independent 😉 And on THAT note- seriously?? Let’s see how long The Prince and his wife last having “real jobs.” It just makes me think about the time I worked my very first job at The Ski Haüs (I worked there for one day!) I came home and I was like “Mom! They made me hang up clothes after people tried them on in the dressing room!” I thought I would be helping customers pick out ski clothes, not cleaning after them. I never went back. I’m honestly not even sure I got paid for the day I worked. I must have. This was a long time ago, so I probably made $30 (after taxes) for 8 full hours of work. They really need to raise minimum wage! But that’s a conversation for another time.

B4716C5F-1E15-4684-9ACE-A72DEA0A210E
Because I know y’all missed Rudi! Here he is working with his bff Brando (white Pomsky on the right). They are training the puppy in the center.

The last thing I picked was a kitchen faucet, which took all of 5 seconds. I looked and was like “I want that one.” Last time I was that sure of something was when I bought my car (which has worked out great so far). The time before that was when I got Daisy (best choice of my life!!) Actually I also felt that way when I decided to put a bid on this property. So that’s a great sign!!
Today on Pinterest I saw some color schemes (scroll back up for photos) that really inspired me for finish work on the house. And I purchased the barn doors I’ve been looking eyeing. It’s a good thing, too, because they’re gonna take 6 weeks to construct.

E43F1AB3-C9EE-4384-81FF-6D0E6CAAF694
Daisy Doo (left) with her brother Stanley, and sister Abby.

Im not sure what Mike has been up to today at the house but I know he didn’t go back to Builders Depot Home Design Warehouse to get anything because I saw no activity on my credit card. Come on Mike! I gotta move in soon!!

 

xoxo

QJ

QJ

New Decade, New Digs.

~ jillontoast ~ 4 Comments

IMG_0511

 

On December 3, 2019 Rudi and I bought a house!!

I guess the process took four or five years. When I first started writing this blog, I was looking for a house. I feel like my years with MSM was a wrinkle in time that took me off my path. Actually not really, because I definitely loved him and the breakup nearly destroyed me. It turned me into a totally different person. On the good side, I am now more self sufficient. I have no interest in falling so in love with anyone ever again. Never again will I admire my mate to the point that I need them to validate me and my choices. I have no interest in that. I just want to be with someone who can take care of themselves, let me take care of myself,  and then sometimes we can hang out and have fun together. In my dreams I still want a kind and loving relationship filled with pets, travels, service to the world, joy, laughter, self  growth (learning new things together), and passion. I am working on trusting the process to get there, and trusting the entire thing, actually. For now I bought a house. I don’t know what got me starting to look. Actually, yes I do. I was fostering my dog Rudi, who I am somehow trying to keep but as I stated before I don’t want too much attachment to anyone, so he is free to leave me if someone else can provide him with a better life. I challenge anyone to that, though, because I adore this dog, and have invested A LOT into his happiness. It’s a fantastic return on investment because he is sweet, makes me laugh, and he is unconditionally loving. Anyways, I was fostering Rudi and he was barking a lot and he MAYBE chewed the balcony post in the amazing duplex i was renting (i LOVED that place) so the landlord didn’t renew my lease. I am not certain thats WHY he didn’t renew it because the day I left (literally moments later), I stuck the address into google search, and up it came for $500/mo more rent. So it is extremely possible the landlord just wanted more money. Greedy bastard. But I do understand. LA is expensive. Especially Santa Monica. They gave me 20days notice. That’s right. Twenty days to find a new house, pack my stuff, and move out (more bastardly than raising the rent). Was I stressed, you ask? BEYOND. This entire scenario has wreaked havoc on my blood pressure (Not kidding. Quite serious in fact.  I’m working on that with a doctor and really hoping we can get this under control and consistently good in what I hope is quick period of time because I don’t do well when I am in fear of health issues). I ended up in an Air BNB for 3 weeks (cost a fortune), a few hotels (which was somewhat fun. I should have reviewed them!), and then renting a holding cell, which is actually a lovely apartment, in the same complex where my nephew and his wife live. The amenities are amazing, the people are friendly, the rent isn’t bad, and the staff are really sweet people. I love the pool and hot tub, I love that i have a parking space in a garage, and I love that my nephew and niece are so close. It has been fun living there, actually, despite how dark my unit is. And I never unpacked fully because immediately I started house hunting fairly aggressively. I just would like to go somewhere and live there at least five years and NOT be kicked out or worry about rent going up. This way I will own something and hopefully…..HOPEFULLY it will appreciate this time (unlike last time when I bought in 2006 and then the crash happened in 2008). I’ve been gun-shy, but I am excited. Rudi loves the yard and seems at home in the space. The fun part is, the entire place needs to be completely renovated. So I am going to get to basically make my own home. With restrictions, of course. I have to stick within my budget. I WILL make a nice home. The greatest part of it all is its a duplex. Two 1920 single family bungalows on one lot. So I will be renting out one of them to help pay the mortgage. The hard part is my  budget and the bungalows are both pretty small. I know that anything under 1500SF is too small for me, so I am going to need to figure out how to make 1100SF FEEL like 1500. Solution #1-  I hired a Feng Shui specialist to go through the space with hopes she can help me create an efficient, open and airy floor plan. #2-  I am currently talking with different architects and interior designers so I can find an affordable one to work with and support me to do this right. My contractor, Mike, is one of my closest friend’s best friend. So lets hope we are all still in love with each other on the flip side. Pun intended hahaha

The Feng Shui lady was interesting……I was SUPER excited about her. She got fantastic yelp reviews but when she showed up she was frazzled. In her defense she wasn’t feeling well, and apparently had bronchitis. At first she seemed mean, but I am sensitive so I knew I may have been taking things wrong. Once time passed, she was really very sweet and gave me a lot of her time. However, every time I email a question, her answers, though they do answer my questions, seem abrasive. I guess its hard to tell tone in an email so I’ve been giving her the benefit of the doubt. She didn’t give me colors or a basic layout describing what quadrant was what- so I ‘m not sure where “love” is (now I know because I asked) or “finance”, or “helpful people”. Whats advantageous about knowing these things is one can put stuff in the quadrants to enhance positive energy in each arena. For example, in the helpful people quadrant (ie friends), its good to hang art with groups of people, and to place certain colors and elements that go with that idea to promote more friendships in life. As a bonus, once done, the rooms seem well designed because Feng Shui lays down ideas for color and decor in the different quadrants. Since my Feng Shui lady didn’t share this information with me, I will not likely be using her for anything else. I may even call a different Feng Shui person,  or just use what she did give me, trust it, and not worry about it ever again? Her stuff was more about protecting the house and making it a strong, energetically safe, place to live. And that is a good thing.

Rudi is SO excited about his new house and yard. My friend Ina and her pup Elvis stopped by. My first friend to see the place. I’m excited she got to see the “before”. 

I wish I had blogged through my breakup and the creation of my last home (the duplex I rented). All the bumble dates and self growth I went through, I am sure, would have been funny and also may have helped other people going through a break up. It just all felt very personal and I didn’t want any of it out in the internet. There are probably a lot of blogs that cover that topic.

So thats the catch up. I plan to blog about the renovation and where I am at in my life and how this is all going. Coincidentally I picked the death card in my tarot reading the other day (yeah, I did a tarot reading, keep your comments to yourself haha). This obviously scared the crap out of me, but then I read that it actually was not literal. That it meant all negative things that I no longer need will be leaving my life. That if I do whats needed, my health will be improved and back to fantastic. That it is a good time to renovate and start new projects. Perfect timing with the New Year just around the corner,  I am really excited to create something new. I am excited to have this fun project, to pick colors and tiles, and shower heads, and to plot out a floor plan. I am excited to create this new home and business (the rental unit), and to build a strong foundation for love, health, prosperity, and happiness in the new decade! I am standing up to the challenge of creating something amazing in my tiny home with my tiny budget.  download

xoxo

QJ

QJ

Cabin in the Woods

~ jillontoast ~ Leave a comment

house

For the 20th anniversary of her 25th birthday, my friend Ina decided to experience wine tasting in Paso Robles. MSM and I have touched on wine tasting here, but we only went to two vineyards (see my post from last thanksgiving), so I was more than excited about this trip. Ina wanted to make sure she could bring her fur child, Elvis, so she searched through Air BnB for dog friendly locations. She couldn’t have picked a more spectacular place than the one she picked! Nestled in the “town” of Templeton, this secluded cabin in the woods was a breathtaking hideout and the perfect getaway. Its also a perfect place for Halloween!

Upon arrival we weren’t sure into what we were getting. At one A.M (we had to leave after a class I’m taking that ends at 10pm)  MSM plowed up a steep incline ensconced in brush and  filth, hardly indicative of a road. Damion, Ina’s husband, was whispering Jason’s infamous “chachacah ahahah”. Where was this place?? Up and around a hill and suddenly the cabin was revealed. At this point we were expecting something straight out of the film Army of Darkness (or Friday the 13th), but instead before us was a beautiful cabin with an exterior enveloped in immeasurably large windows. The interior was modern with built in book shelves FULL of books. The house came equip with an outdoor BBQ and a gorgeous galley kitchen, Wusthof knives and all clad pans included. Any chef would have been excited. Ina was allowed first dibs on rooms, since it was her birthday :). She picked the upper loft so MSM and I stayed in the downstairs room covered in windows. I LOVED IT. It was like sleeping in a tree house! The windows in this house had no curtains, but when the sun came up in the morning it was so peaceful the light did not deter our sleep. I felt home for the first time in a long time. We were surrounded by trees and sky and blue jays. It was wonderful. Even our shower was completely open to nature (yep, floor to ceiling windows in the bathroom). It was so much fun to wash up in what felt like a real waterfall!

shower
A view with a shower or a shower with a view?

After eating a gourmet breakfast of veggie scramble with toast (prepared by our men), the wine tour van picked us up for a fun day of wine tasting. And yes, with our help, they were able to find the abode. Though we had to walk down the hill. hahaha.

Vineyards of Paso Robles:

Midnight

Midnight Vineyard was our first stop and was probably my favorite. The hostesses were so sweet and gave us great education on their wines. Also they had an adorable dog-like cat that just came to greet us and then curled up by our feet. This vineyard produced a white wine that I really enjoyed. I’m not a big white person, but it was dry and crisp and delicious.

midnightvineyards

tracktor2
I had such a great time walking around the grounds of Midnight. Ina and I climbed onto a tractor, a reoccurring motif throughout our afternoon.
chardonay
Chardonnay is Midnight’s 19 year old Vineyard cat. She was a ferrel cat that adopted the owners a long time ago. So sweet and adorable. It was love at first sight for her and I. 

 

Dark Star

Despite the cool name (reminds me of Star Wars for some reason…) MSM and I sat this one out, so we did not taste the wine. BUT we did meet these two cuties:

fullsizerender
At Dark Star we met the rest of our pack. These two lovely blondes and their family joined us the remainder of the day. 

 

Red Soles

Red soles was a huge hit. The wine was very good, especially the Rosé. ANNNND, Red Soles is also a distillery which the rest of our crew loved. MSM enjoyed their limoncello and Damion liked the rum. The hard stuff somewhat reminded me of rubbing alcohol, so I stuck with wine.

redsoles_rose
Always a sucker for the footprints. And Rosé.

 

J. Lohr

J. Lohr was Ina’s birthday pick, and I can see why. The wine here was quite good. The grounds were stunning. Here we stopped for a picnic lunch before our tastings.

vineyardlohr_wine

corgi_jlohr
Another Vineyard dog. Who can say “no” to a corgi? Not me! Look at that face!

 

Via Vega

Via Vega was the last leg of our tour. A very amusing vineyard, but not the best wine in the world, in my opinion. I don’t like writing negative reviews, so I’ll try to be constructive here. I’m not sure if I just need to revisit Via Vega under different circumstances because the owner was in a hurry to close up this day in order to get to his beloved annual Beaver Festival. I DID like that every year Via Vega produces a stock whose wine sales are used to raise money for their neighboring Zoo. I appreciate the philanthropic notion as well as anyone that promotes something to help animals. Unfortunately , I felt this place was a “vineyard for beer lovers”. During the tasting they didn’t really educate us about the wines at all, the owner just poured our ounces and told stories about himself. When we first arrived we were peeking about the nooks and crannies of this unconventionally decorated tasting room and the owner basically yelled at us to “get on with it” so that he could close early. He came across as a bit abrasive, which turned me off from the wines. Wasn’t loving his vibe. But i DID love their vineyard dog.

vineyarddog_1
I didn’t love the wine at Via Vega, but their dog was ADORABLE! I’m really excited that all these vineyards are so pet friendly!
tracktor1
Another tractor to crawl on. This one channeled my inner Ronald Miller 🙂
birthdaygirl
Birthday girl with the two adorable golden’s that joined our tasting entourage.

 

Denouement

After a day of wine tasting we were all exhausted. Big Chill Style, we cooked a great Curtis Stone recipe for dinner (we were all slicing and dicing). We ate, and pretty much crashed on the sofa until we moved into our respective beds. Even Elvis was tired.

elvis_cabin
Elvis guarded the house while we all relaxed after a long day of wine tasting and vineyard exploration.

The next morning MSM and I took a hike around the property. The whole place was landscaped with secret spots and benches. It was incredible. So quiet and inviting but interesting with its little hints of horror movies- for example a small unfinished shed out back, or the murder of yellow jackets that swarmed around us (Damion was stung, thank goodness he’s not allergic!). After our walk the guys watched football and I did something I’ve been wanting to do FOREVER. I grabbed a book, laid down on a surprisingly comfortable futon, and, with natural sunlight abundant, I read. No interruptions. It. Was. Incredible.

jill_woods

msm_coffee
Inside the Cabin In The Woods was an opulence of books and natural light. A reader’s dream. Coffee mug is actual size!

We all discussed visiting here again some day. I can not WAIT!

What the heck to wear while wine tasting in Paso Robles:

Answer: Layers. I think I said that last time. It was cool in the morning and then became abruptly HOT HOT HOT.

Second answer: Comfortable shoes. Heels are great and sexy, but not the best idea here. Especially if your like me and you like to explore the surroundings.

whattowear
This Layer was comprised of: Shoes: Fendi  Shorts: One Teaspoon  Top: Charlotte Russe (i.e wear something you can spill wine on and not care) Above: outfits Top : current elliott Tank: Jackelope, Austin  Shorts: Joie  Sneakers: Asics
jill_cu
This seemingly hot fedora from Rag and Bone was the perfect protection from the sun. Oddly my head didn’t over heat at all. I definitely recommend a fedora when wine tasting. They protect you from the sun and are so stylish!

J’aime boire du vin rouge à midi! <– I’m learning something from duo lingo! 🙂

More later…..

xo

QJ

QJ

Satellite.

~ jillontoast ~ Leave a comment

Sattelite2

Its weird how a song or a photo or a song with a photo can totally transport a person back in time. It reminds me of those time travel love stories like The Time Travelers Wife or About Time. I wish time travel could be more than in our minds via photos or music or whatever takes us back. I don’t need to stay, nor do I want to stay- though if I went I’m not sure I wouldn’t be mesmerized into staying. Stuck from a strong magnetic-like pull. Like when I visit my dogs. I can’t wait to see them but when I have to leave its so painful and then I’m cranky or sad or both for an entire week. I have a love back in time. If I went back, would I be able to leave him? Maybe it would get easier knowing I could always time travel and go back to visit some more? Its just hard because I have no photos or videos. My mother threw them out. And I had letters and cards but she threw those out too. I’m sure she was trying to help. Figured it would push me to move forward rather than relish on the past but now I only have the memories in my mind to remember him and us. I know  that how I feel about MSM feels similar. I remember that from the beginning. Not the day we met, but the day I knew there was something there. It felt beautifully familiar. Different, but something similar. That’s why I could never let it go. I knew it was a gift. Something special that shouldn’t be taken lightly.  And  I can remember that moment clearly too – as clearly as the moment I am thinking about now with Dave Matthews Satellite playing and the carnival swings photo in the back ground. I remember him sitting on the floor holding the CD with that same cover, telling me how much he loved that song. How his friends were outside but I had had a long day and was resting in bed so he came in to keep me company. He was so young back then but he seemed so mature, since he was five years my senior. And still, right now, he sits there on the wooden floor of his bedroom in his parent’s house, legs crossed in his brown cotton pants and plaid short sleeved shirt. His brown eyes smiling up at me. Bushy eyebrows and tan skin, he’s 29. More than five years my junior now. When my mind goes back and sees him he’s just a boy and I’m more mature, more experienced, more weathered. I still miss him. It doesn’t hurt as much or as often but sometimes when I hear a song or see a photo there’s a pang. Maybe my mom did me a favor after all, though I’m not sure I can forgive her for throwing those things out. Knowing her she saved everything to give back to me later- when she felt I was healed. But now she’s older and her memory is not so great. I’m sure she may not even remember who he is let alone where my pieces of him have been hidden. I wonder what he would say to me now. What advice would he have for me? How would he handle our life? Is he happy for me or hurt or maybe even angry? He was so kind though. Always saw the best in everyone- just like who I am with now. Gregarious and genuinely kind. Non judgmental. When he left he said he was going to be ok. I know it sounds crazy but I do believe I saw his spirit. And I had a dream in which he told me not to smoke. His last words were my name. I’m not sure if he was telling me he loved me or if he was scared or in pain. I think he knew. I really do. At that last moment. He knew because he said my name. This is the first time I’m writing about this. It certainly isn’t easy. But maybe one day it will be a book. A love story. It will help him live forever.

oneLove

And speaking of time travel, some time ago my mother and I put some things in a time capsule that will be unburied soon. I must have been something like 5 or 7 years old. Probably five because don’t most things like that happen on a 5 or a zero? I could be wrong….maybe I was 7 or 11.  I remember that my mom sent me a box of basically crap a few years ago, but in that box of nothing was the golden ticket. The paperwork for the time capsule. I was excited to see that it was A. going to be opened in California and B. I hadn’t missed it/had quite a few more years to go before it will be opened.  I just need to find the papers so I can put it in my calendar. How exciting! I wonder what it will be like?  Will I remember or recognize the things we put in there? Will I think “so THATS where that’s been all this time!”? Will it feel like I went back in time? Maybe there’s a note from my mom or dad…..This is definitely something to which I look forward!

What the heck to wear when you travel out of your own place and time?

TimeTravel
Jeans: J brand  Boots: Rag and Bone  Blazer: Theory  Shirt: C&C California (old)

I suggest something comfortable and classic, so you don’t stick out. I feel like a blazer is one of those closet essentials that will always come in handy. They can dress up an otherwise casual outfit and they can professionalize (is that a word?) a dress. I love this one by Theory. It has leather on the collar to add a touch of interest. It’s worth the extra dollars to spend a bit more on a truly well made blazer. They last forever and never go out of style. Walking boots are another great staple. A little bit of a chunky heel is best, according to my podiatrist. He says flat shoes are actually just as bad for your feet as stilettos. True fact!

xoxo

QJ

QJ